2025哈佛大學(xué)錄取文書公布，被哈佛招生官怒贊的滿分文書長啥樣,？

今年哈佛大學(xué)再度公開了多篇成功叩開錄取大門的優(yōu)質(zhì)文書，讓我們透過這些鮮活的文字,，解碼哈佛招生官的錄取傾向,。

01、Claire's Essay

In my vision I focus on a lone front tooth backdropped by a black abyss; thin lips dance around it in motions forming words, yet I can’t seem to hear them.

In the kitchen behind my grandfather sits his definition of luxury — a now stale and cold Filet-o-Fish from the Beijing McDonald’s. American basketball plays on the television across from where we’re sitting on the sofa; players’ shoes squeak and balls bounce louder in my ears than those words. In this moment, his Mandarin goes in one ear and out the other. I don’t listen the way I do when he’s screaming at my mother, a bitter, blind rage fueled by undercurrents of fear and “I miss you.”

My focus blurs, and the tooth disappears. Basketball fades to silence, and I’m on the airplane home to America. We’re separated once more by an ocean and three thousand unspoken miles. It’s a whirlwind; five years pass, and my few apathetic summers in China are over before I can blink twice.

The last clear memory I have is waking up on my thirteenth birthday to my dad handing me the landline kept for international phone calls: “Waigong has something he wants to read to you.”

It is a poem that he had written about me. Through the phone, I could do nothing but hear his voice, static worsening the Mandarin already slurred by missing teeth. The poem says everything he loved about his granddaughter, everything he saw in her, despite barely knowing her. It is a reflection of last dreams, visions, and hopes of his own.

He was gone not long after that, once more turned to forever.

It wasn’t until I found myself chancely entrenched in poetry because of a mandatory school competition that I began to think deeply about this disconnected relationship. Poetry Out Loud’s anthology introduced me to hundreds and hundreds of poems, and I felt like a hungry child at a buffet. When I discovered “Old Men Playing Basketball” by B.H. Fairchild, I saw tired arms and shaky hands as a pure geometry of curves, hobbling slippers as the adamant remains of that old soft shoe of desire. In words, I was safe to miss my grandfather for all the things that made him human. For the first time in my life, I began to realize that I might have a love for beautiful words that ran deep in my blood, a love that couldn’t be lost in translation.

On that makeshift podium in the school cafeteria my sophomore year, “Old Men Playing Basketball” becomes “Waigong Playing Basketball.” I’m taken back to that sofa in Beijing one more time, where he takes my small hand into his tremoring one covered by gray-brown patches of melasma, where he tells me, “You are a gift, a wonder. You are a hu die.” Butterfly: my Chinese name. Born to one day fly.

But it is no longer his voice I hear. It is my own— crisp and clear, raw and strong. The poem becomes the glass wand of autumn light breaking over the backboard, where boys rise up in old men. I see the whole scene this time, not just tooth and abyss. I hear every word.

Perhaps I will never be able to know my grandfather beyond his love of basketball and poetry, or hear his voice read me another poem. But when I am stirred by beautiful lines or liberated by my pen on paper, I know I am one of two same hearts, forever bound together by the permanence and power of language.

I am a vessel in flight, listening, writing, speaking to remember histories, to feel emotion, to carry forth dreams and visions and hopes of my own. My grandfather becomes an elegant mirage of a basketball player, carried by a quiet grace along my trail of spoken words floating upwards toward heaven.

招生官點評：

有些文書會告訴你一個人是怎樣的人,。Claire的文書則展現(xiàn)了她是如何成為那樣的人,。

讓《出水之魚》脫穎而出的不僅僅是“魚和新生”的比喻，也不僅僅是她將移民和生物這兩個招生官員經(jīng)常遇到的主題聯(lián)系起來的故事,，而是她如何讓這些熟悉的想法融入到個人生活中,。

在于她如何輕松地描述不適，以及如何真誠地捕捉語言障礙帶來的尷尬和孤獨感,。

一個不夠深思熟慮的作者可能會簡單地說：“學(xué)英語很難,。”然而,，Claire向我們展示了她如何運用富有創(chuàng)意的幽默自嘲,，同時通過海綿寶寶的重播、文字游戲和對標(biāo)注圖表的迷戀,，展現(xiàn)她獨特的技能,、缺點和優(yōu)勢。

這正是招生官想要看到的：一種成熟的反思方式,，能夠?qū)⒐适律鷦拥卣宫F(xiàn)在屏幕之外,。

她不只是談?wù)擁g性——她還向我們展示了韌性的來源，以及藝術(shù)和科學(xué)如何成為理解事物的一種方式,。

她的文筆生動活潑,，卻不浮夸。像“l(fā)anguage feels slippery like fish on my tongue”這樣的隱喻感覺很真實,，因為它們來自生活經(jīng)驗,。

最后，當(dāng)她寫到“You’ll find your water”時,，這句話落到了實處,。這不僅僅是一個簡潔的結(jié)局——這是一個提醒，安靜而慷慨,，成長不必喧囂,，才是真實的。

02,、Alexander's Essay

The mouthwatering scent of beef broth brought back a flood of childhood memories as it wafted around me. After a 12-hour drive from Florida to Texas, the familiar smell meant I was in ""bep cua bà"", or ""grandma's kitchen"" in Vietnamese. Every summer when my family visited my grandparents' house, my grandma always had a steaming pot of pho ready for us when we arrived, and this time was no exception. For my family, pho was more than a Vietnamese delicacy: it symbolized bringing us together over a warm, hearty meal. This specific visit, however, came with a change of perspective; as a young adult who was now conscious of his cultural roots, I wanted to learn more about my heritage by learning how to cook pho from my grandma.

As she boiled the water, my grandma stressed to me, ""Every bowl of pho needs a strong foundation: the broth."" Without a good broth, she explained, none of the other ingredients mattered. As I stood over the boiling pot, I thought about my own foundation: my family. My parents immigrated to America after the Vietnam War with nothing and had to work tirelessly to accomplish the celebrated ""American Dream"". From taking me to a 7 am student government fundraiser or a 10 pm baseball game in a city five hours away, I would not have been able to participate in these activities, which I consider an integral part of my identity, without their support. Being fortunate enough to have a strong foundation in my life has allowed me to be a strong foundation for others. For example, as an upperclassman on my varsity baseball team, I strive to be available for my teammates. Last season, when a younger teammate was struggling in a few games, I stayed back after practice to work with him on his fielding before driving him home, even though he lived almost an hour away. This small gesture was a reflection of my attempt to build a strong foundation for others.

As I watched the broth simmer in a giant pot that my grandma had continuously stirred for two days, she imparted another bit of wisdom onto me: making a great bowl of pho was also all about balance. Simply taking a great broth and indiscriminately adding to it would not suffice; each of the ingredients had to be in perfect balance with each other. Balance was never really something I considered until recently, when I experienced the struggle that can come from its absence. When I suffered a stress fracture in my lower back a few years ago that left me unable to play baseball for the foreseeable future, I felt as if suddenly a major part of my identity had been stripped away. I struggled with this new reality for a while until I realized I could fill this temporary void by acting as a mentor for my younger teammates. Additionally, with my newfound spare time, I was able to further develop my interest in Mu Alpha Theta, which gave me a new, enriching opportunity to compete in mathematics competitions. By the time I was finally cleared to play, I had developed a fresh appreciation for the importance of maintaining a balance among all the activities I did, as I had experienced firsthand the empty feeling of having this balance stripped away.

While putting the finishing scallions in the bowl, I reflected on the delectable meal I helped create and realized that what had started out as me simply wanting to learn more about my heritage became something more poignant: an introspection. Although there may not be a single perfect recipe for pho, by applying my grandma's cooking principles in my everyday life, whether it be in baseball, my volunteer lab experience, or my service trip to Guatemala, I hope to be able to make a ""bowl of pho"" that is perfect for me.

招生官點評：

Alexander的這篇文書是一篇充滿思考,、情感深刻的自我反思之作，圍繞身份,、家庭與個人成長展開,。通過以越南牛肉粉(pho)的烹飪過程作為核心隱喻，他巧妙地將自己的越南文化背景與更廣泛的主題——根基,、平衡和韌性——聯(lián)系在一起,。“b?p c?a bà(外婆的廚房)”這一意象溫暖而具體,，使整個敘述深深扎根于有意義的文化語境中,。

最令人印象深刻的是，Alexander能將個人經(jīng)歷升華為具有普遍意義的洞察,。他面對逆境的反應(yīng)——在運動受傷后輔導(dǎo)隊友,、重新燃起對數(shù)學(xué)的熱愛——展現(xiàn)了低調(diào)的領(lǐng)導(dǎo)力與適應(yīng)力。這些瞬間真實可信,，充分體現(xiàn)了他的價值觀在現(xiàn)實中的體現(xiàn),。

文章的結(jié)構(gòu)從熬湯講到追求平衡，再轉(zhuǎn)向內(nèi)省,，整體主題清晰,、內(nèi)容豐富。不過,，部分段落之間的銜接仍可更流暢,，個別語句略顯重復(fù)或抽象。結(jié)尾雖然情感真摯,，但如果能以一個更具體的個人畫面收尾,，而不是停留在“完美的一碗粉”的隱喻上，可能會留下更深刻的印象,。

總體而言,，這是一篇真誠且吸引人的個人陳述，展現(xiàn)了作者的深度與人格魅力,。若在語言清晰度和節(jié)奏感方面稍作潤色,，這篇文書將具備強大的招生說服力。

03,、Barry's Essay

I woke up one morning to the usual noise in the kitchen. “That plate of porridge is mine,” my brother yelled outrageously at my sister, “l(fā)eave it or else I will beat you up.” Food scrambles and fights were order of the day in the family I was raised. The size of one’s meal would be determined by one’s age. You had to fight for food at times, or else hunger would eat you alive. Living with ten siblings in a polygamous family is not the definition of tranquility. However, I have learned more from this revolving door than I could have been taught in solitary silence. Beyond chaos, there is a whisper that teaches the benefits of unselfish concern.

My mother was a teacher, but her salary could not sustain the big family. Almost every day, she would wake up early in the morning before work and go to the fields. My parents were shadowy figures whose voices I heard vaguely in the morning when sleep was shallow, and whom I glimpsed with irresistibly heavy eye-lids as they trudged wearily into the house at night. We sat together as a whole family on special occasions. After a bumper harvest, my parents would sell their crops in the neighborhood. I vividly remember my mother counting proceeds from the crop sale, her dark face grim, and I think now, beautiful. Not with the hollow beauty of well-simulated features, but with a strong radiance of one who has suffered and never yielded. “This is for your school fees arrears,” she would murmur making a little pile. “This is for the groceries that we borrowed from Mr Kibe’s store,” and so on. The list was endless. We would survive at least for the present.

My father instilled in me the importance of education. I would see the value of education every time I shook hands with him; the scratches and calluses from the field in his hands were enough motivation. After every award I received, he would firmly shake my hands as a sign of profound pride. My tacit prayer was to ease his pain one day. Unfortunately this was never to come true, he died on 5 February 2016 in a car accident, only a week before I received my IGCSE O LEVEL results and I had attained 14 straight A grades, standing out to be one of the top performers in the country. After my father’s death, his brothers took everything that he had acquired.

Inevitably, circumstances forced me to take a break from school in January 2017 and bear my share of the eternal burden at home. I had to take care of my mother whose health was deteriorating. I would spend the day doing household chores, and the nights were times of intensive study. It was on my mother’s deathbed when I was fully convinced that she was a seasoned fighter. “Barry,” she called me, “I am not going to die till you finish school.” In order not to disillusion that extraordinary faith in her voice, I assured her that she was going to live. Unfortunately, she succumbed to death on the 15th of March 2017. I “died” with her. My belief in the God she had ardently prayed to till the time of her demise was shaken.

Already laid waste by poverty and pain, I went back to school through the generosity of strangers. School became a battleground for victory. I came back to life determined than ever before. I out-performed the country boys who mocked my struggle. I went on to win accolades in the National and Regional Mathematics Olympiads and was awarded the Higher Life Foundation Scholarship that was going to pay my fees throughout high school.

Today, I am an epitome of a black, double-orphaned, African boy who lost everything he ever valued, but refused to give up on his dream.

招生官點評：

Barry寫的那篇關(guān)于在十幾口人的非洲大家庭里成長的文書,，乍一看,，可能會讓人覺得寫得一般。

確實,，文書里有一些像未完成稿的瑕疵：有些句式不太地道,，比如他說“我弟弟怒吼著(yelled outrageously)”，其實更自然的表達是“憤怒地吼叫(yelled in outrage)”;

還有,，谷歌文檔在“我回到生活中,，比以往任何時候都更加堅定”這句話下面標(biāo)了條醒目的藍色波浪線，提示語法可能有誤,，于是Barry就補充了更多內(nèi)容,。

不過，這些小問題可掩蓋不了這篇文書的閃光點,。它洞察力敏銳,，情感細膩，作者用詞也很能打動人心,。

很多作者寫到類似經(jīng)歷時,，可能早早收尾，簡單概括一下主題,，比如“我在這個忙碌的家庭里學(xué)到的東西,，比獨處時多得多”。

但Barry不一樣,，他知道,，真正有說服力的文章，就是在清晰表達的基礎(chǔ)上,，搭建起能深深觸動讀者的框架,，這是簡單的陳述做不到的。

讀到他寫的一個裝飾句“Beyond chaos, there is a whisper that teaches the benefits of unselfish concern.”(在混亂之外,，有一種低語,，訴說著無私關(guān)懷的益處)，我一下子就被吸引住了,。

我甚至懷疑,，Barry從混亂家庭生活中領(lǐng)悟到的這些智慧，可能就是他自己的心聲,。

讓人高興的是,，文書剩下的部分，至少和開頭一樣精彩,。不管是描述父親去世時,，他用一種比最悲痛的葬禮哀號更內(nèi)斂、卻更有力的語氣，還是寫母親在平凡地計算家庭開支時,，他停下來欣賞母親美麗的容顏,，讀的時候，我們都能走進Barry的內(nèi)心,，一直感受到他的存在——哪怕隔著屏幕,，他的智慧也清晰可感,。

04,、Claire's Essay

Of the memorable moments in my life when I have discovered one of my passions, almost all of them involve my bright yellow Crocs. Buying rubber shoes in such a conspicuous color was not a spontaneous decision; it took me two months to choose. I had been stalking crocs.com, clicking between the color options, and asking for the unsatisfying opinions of friends before what felt like my rom-com “meet cute” moment: a girl wearing a black tracksuit walked past me in Crocs the brightest shade of yellow I had ever seen. That very week, I opened my laptop and decisively purchased a size 8 pair of “Lemon” Crocs. Ten business days (and two months to build up the courage to wear my eye-catching kicks out in public) later, my self-discovery began.

I was wearing my Crocs when I recognized the importance of activism in young communities. This revelation came on a Saturday in March 2018. I took a 25-minute train ride down to Washington D.C. to participate in the March for Our Lives rally—my first protest. For all 25 anxiety-inducing minutes, my heart raced and my muscles tightened as I tried to ignore the probing stares from strangers wondering why I decided to pair yellow shoes with a green coat.

But my fears (both Croc and non-Croc related) quickly dissolved as I stood alongside activists that were my age; in front of a stage dominated by leaders that were my age; making me realize that the only thing stopping me from being a student activist, at my age, was effort. The young voices calling for change inspired me to step into my responsibility to use my voice to help those whose voices are being suppressed. I stood there for one hour, but what I saw was enough to encourage me to actualize my vision for a world where students are driven to engender social change through service. So, five months later, I co-founded The Virago Project (TVP), a student-led organization focused on building a community of activists like the ones I stood alongside in March. A “virago” is a woman displaying exemplary qualities, but the term has been twisted to demean assertive women. From its name to its activities, TVP is about redefining leadership.

After my day in D.C., I wore my Crocs to every student meeting TVP held. I wore them as we sold 150 handmade bracelets to raise funds for a local children’s home and again when we posted colorful cards with encouraging messages all over my high school. Walking into rooms full of ambitious student leaders using TVP as a jumping-off point for their own service projects, I beamed as their gaze met my sunny shoes and then shot up to my equally cheery smile.

“Dunni, why do you wear such noticeable shoes when you lead these meetings?” asked one of our activists.

Pleasantly dumbfounded, I could only respond with a curious smile—it’s not often that frivolous items lead to unintentionally philosophical inquiries. So, I held my tongue until the answer struck on a late-night in November 2019.

I wear such noticeable shoes when I stand in front of other student leaders because I want to model the kind of leadership that is as smile-inducing, deliberate, and visible as my Crocs. TVP has trained me to be, above all, altruistic, and I love that I get to learn and model this with a generation of world changers. It took me two months to decide I wanted a pair of sun-colored shoes but only two seconds and a model to realize that I desired the option I’d once overlooked. Now, I realize that, to curious strangers, I am the girl walking past in Crocs the brightest shade of yellow they have ever seen. And I am delighted with the thought that I could be the one to break someone’s cycle of indecision and social apathy.

招生官點評：

這篇申請文書堪稱典范，完美融合了敘事真實性以及明確的敘事意圖——這兩大特質(zhì)正是頂尖大學(xué)申請文書中最吸引人的地方,。

作者以自信且親切的口吻,，巧妙地借助亮黃色洞洞鞋(Crocs)這一出人意料的意象，逐步引出身份認(rèn)同,、領(lǐng)導(dǎo)力以及社會影響力等更為深刻的主題,。那些看似輕松有趣的日常小事，最終升華為對可見性,、發(fā)聲以及個人目標(biāo)的深度思考,。

這篇文書的獨特之處在于，它能夠自然流暢地將個人經(jīng)歷與政治,、社會議題相結(jié)合,，既不顯得生硬，也不落俗套,。作者不僅分享了自己的行動主義實踐,，還深入剖析了這些經(jīng)歷如何塑造了她充滿喜悅、包容與自我認(rèn)知的領(lǐng)導(dǎo)理念,。

“Virago 項目”并非一份刻意堆砌的履歷,，而是作者生活經(jīng)歷的真實寫照，通過豐富的想象和深刻的自我反思,，賦予了文字鮮活的生命力,。

要知道，招生官們每天可能要審閱幾十篇甚至上百篇申請文書,。他們真正渴望看到的,，是那些內(nèi)容新穎、具體且充滿情感共鳴的文書,。

這篇文書之所以能夠脫穎而出,，是因為它從一開始就緊緊抓住了讀者的注意力，憑借引人入勝的節(jié)奏和恰到好處的幽默感,，始終保持著讀者的興趣,。同時，它還巧妙地融入了精英特質(zhì)，如主動性,、社會責(zé)任感以及高情商,。

在 Momentum College Counseling，我們一直強調(diào),，學(xué)生無需刻意追求宏大的,、改變世界的壯舉來撰寫令人難忘的文書。他們真正需要的,，是清晰的思路,、深刻的自省以及引人入勝的視角。

而這篇文書恰好具備了這三點要素,。它既展現(xiàn)了作者的脆弱一面,，卻又不顯得做作;既彰顯了雄心壯志，又不過于浮夸,。最重要的是,，它捕捉到了一個學(xué)生敢于真實展現(xiàn)自我的勇氣，無論他是穿著黃色的洞洞鞋,，還是其他任何鞋子——這種自信且富有原創(chuàng)性的特質(zhì),，正是哈佛等名校招生官們所極為看重的。

05

Isabelle's Essay

Isabelle's Essay

Breakfast after church is a Sunday staple in my family. We’re not allowed to eat beforehand, so right after Mass ends, my sister and I race to the bagel shop only to inevitably wait in a long line. Often when we reached the cashier, we’d find they were out of plain bagels. It was a perennially difficult decision: pick from an assortment of non-plain bagels, or wait another 20 minutes for new plain bagels.

People’s bagel choices tell you everything about them, and I was a plain bagel girl through and through. Even when faced with 20 extra minutes of hunger, I decided to leave the sweet bagels for the adventurous, the savory for the straightforward, and the “everything” for the indecisive. I came for plain bagels, and I would get them, no matter the wait.

After a long wait, the warmth of the freshly-baked plain bagels radiating through the paper bag assured me my patience was worth it. Being a plain bagel girl means knowing exactly what you want—no more, no less. It means that I’m in control of my decision-making and always end up satisfied.

In senior year, my teacher graciously brought bagels to our class. Upon approaching the bag, however, I found there were no plain bagels left. Instinctively, I retreated. But my teacher stopped me and advised that I break from my comfort zone. Reluctantly, I chose an egg bagel, preferring its odd yellow shade to the surrounding sweeter variety (who wants a french toast bagel anyway?). My first bite introduced me to a new world: this sweet and savory egg bagel flawlessly balanced the worlds of the adventurous and the straightforward.

My willingness to try an egg bagel didn’t lead to a phase of food experimentation, but it did make me see that I could be more spontaneous than my plain bagel self might allow.

Before high school, you could never spot me on a dance floor; I much preferred to watch from the audience. But in my freshman year, I joined the dance department of my school’s annual production of S!NG on a whim.

As soon as I tried the first move, I knew the decision was worth it. I enjoyed diligently practicing routines and adding my own flair, satisfying my tendency to prepare thoroughly while also fulfilling my desire to explore the realm of dance. Eventually, I excelled so much that the directors chose me as their successor—a position that has strengthened me as a dancer, leader, and person. Though I relished my newfound sense of spontaneity, my plain bagel girl roots helped me to effectively manage others’ dancing. I tirelessly choreographed and re-choreographed each step and count of a routine, no matter how long the detailed revisions took. During practices, I analyzed the dancers' movements and refined them to what could only be described as plain bagel perfection.

Sometimes the moments when I thought I needed to be in control to be successful were when I needed to be more spontaneous. In my first year being director, I was unfamiliar with managing a multitude of variously skilled dancers. Shedding my fear of being an inexperienced leader was difficult, but I soon learned to open myself to others’ advice about describing moves and maintaining the beat. Together, through sometimes spontaneous practice sessions and spurts of inspiration, we worked to adapt the choreography to accomodate all dancers.

I revel in the contradiction that is my simultaneous meticulousness and spontaneity: my egg bagel epiphany. I can count on myself to prepare thoroughly to optimize my potential, no matter how long it takes. But I can also trust myself to make the most of the unknown and stay true to myself while doing so. It’s what makes me multidimensional; it makes me a young woman no longer defined by her bagel choices but rather by her versatility and what she can do with it.

招生官點評：

一篇出色的個人陳述(personal statements),，應(yīng)當(dāng)巧妙融合別出心裁的創(chuàng)意與深刻的自我洞察,。

Isabelle的文書就用一句話精準(zhǔn)詮釋了這一要點：“從人們對貝果(bagel)的口味偏好，就能看出他們的個性全貌,，而我,，就是那個鐘情于原味貝果的女孩?！?/p>

她以貝果口味偏好來趣味性地映射性格,，讓讀者輕松理解她對穩(wěn)定感和掌控力的渴望。直到有一天,，一個完美雞蛋貝果的出現(xiàn),，挑戰(zhàn)了她“原味貝果女孩”的固有標(biāo)簽，促使她重新審視是否要舍棄一直堅守的穩(wěn)定,，轉(zhuǎn)而擁抱隨性自在的生活態(tài)度,。

她一時興起加入了學(xué)校的舞蹈團，并從中找到了許多令人驚喜的新方式,，學(xué)會適應(yīng)并打破常規(guī),。后來，當(dāng)她被任命為項目總監(jiān)時,，她運用從原味貝果中獲得的頓悟,，在追求完美主義的傾向與領(lǐng)導(dǎo)力所必需的適應(yīng)性之間找到了平衡。

Isabelle的故事生動展現(xiàn)了她自我認(rèn)知的不斷深化，這無疑將極大地助力她實現(xiàn)自己的抱負(fù),。她以滿腔熱情書寫,，在平凡的事物中挖掘出深刻內(nèi)涵。

“我愿把甜味貝果留給那些熱愛冒險的人,，咸味貝果留給性格直爽的人,，而‘什錦味’貝果，就留給那些猶豫不決的人吧,?！?她對這些意義的獨特解讀，讓人感受到強烈的個人色彩,，也為她的申請者形象增添了豐富的維度,，這種魅力絕非成績,、考試分?jǐn)?shù)和課外活動所能完全展現(xiàn)的,。

以上便是整理的部分哈佛大學(xué)錄取文書，完整版領(lǐng)取可+V：useful02